If Mariah Can Be #FINDEPENDENT, You Can Too

Thought Bubble: If Mariah Can Be #FINDEPENDENT, You Can Too

09.25.2022 - By: Anastasia Barbuzzi

The content in this blog post was adapted from my weekly newsletter. Subscribe to receive the The #SundayScroll ☕, a thoughtfully curated newsletter that’s full of personal musings, every Sunday!

Have you listened to Meghan Markle’s new podcast yet?

Amidst all the negative press and backlash over Archetypes, I felt one important detail was overlooked in a recent episode featuring Mimi (a.k.a Mariah Carey). For context, Meghan dives into the labels that try and hold women back, making Archetypes an exploration into origins of words such as “diva,” “slut,” and “bitch,” and how we started using them to define women in the first place.

If you read the word “diva” and thought, “Ou! That’s definitely MC’s episode!”, two things:

1) I caught you buying into the stereotype (kidding, relax).

2) There’s a lot more to Mariah’s “diva” personality than you might think.

When discussing her “suffocating” marriage to American music exec Tommy Mottola, (pictured above), Mariah described the process of buying their first home together, and how she was adamant about paying for half of it with her own money. Apparently, Mottola was completely against Mariah’s wishes (go figure), but Mimi was insistent after witnessing the troubles her mother went through in the throes of toxic relationships without her own financial independence.

Long story short, Mariah ended up paying for half of the house she purchased with Mottola— a fact she guessed not many people know about. And in the midst of being interviewed for a podcast earlier this week, (stay tuned for the details!), I was reminded of a similar situation.

The host of the podcast asked me about buying my first home with my fiancé and what conversations about the division of our finances were like. My partner and I have a joint account that our mortgage comes out of, but currently, that’s our only pot of shared money. Why? Well, I have only one answer to that question.

I have always valued my financial independence, and having been in a precarious situation in the past, I know how important it is to hold your own, especially in a relationship. I also think it’s critical to be able to provide for myself, and never feel trapped or obligated financially. I’ve always valued being able to make money moves when I want and how I want, and I’ve always thought this is important for all women too.

Not to mention, in relationships where women either hand over all financial responsibilities to their S.O., assume they’re sharing financial responsibility with their partner when really, their name is on nothing, or trust that their S.O. is handling things responsibly, we tend to get royally (no pun intended) screwed— there’s statistical proof.

In fact, millennial women are even more likely to let men lead financially. 59% of women between the ages of 20 to 34 let their spouses take the lead, compared to 55% of women aged over 50. Pretty freaky if you ask me.

Every couple’s situation is different, but I believe that if your romantic partner can’t respect the fact that you want to maintain your financial independence, that probably isn’t your “person” or the person you want to combine finances with. You could always base your argument on “if something happens,” but just wanting to be financially independent should be enough for them to appreciate the boundary.

I mean, take Mimi for example. Would she have been scrimping for cash after taking Mottola to the cleaners? Of course not, because she was one of the biggest recording artists in the world at the time and her ex-husband was practically a billionaire. However, it’s the principle that matters: MC came out unscathed (money-wise) and went on to lead a highly successful career.

I’ll never stop preaching #findependence as the basis for more women to increase their financial literacy. Life happens. Shit happens. But the last thing you want is for shit to hit the fan, my friend. And if being a diva means holding your own no matter the circumstance, it might be an archetype to stand behind and be proud of.

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