9 Ways to Treat Your Compulsions With Compassion

9 Ways to Treat Your Compulsions With Compassion

07.26.2024 - By: Anastasia Barbuzzi

At one time or another, we've all attempted to cure something with retail or another type of therapy. Or, we've impulsively purchased something without considering the financial impact and then encountered a rude awakening upon opening our banking app. The worst of both those situations? Knowing the condition of our financial situation and doing it anyway (a la Carrie Bradshaw, except for when the fabulous Amalita buys her a pair of D&G sandals after her AMEX gets declined in Season 1, Episode 5. Peep them in the photo above.)

A few weeks ago, I talked with a close girlfriend about some financial stress she was experiencing due to overspending. Being the insightful person she is, she's spent enough time repeating the same habits and analyzing her behaviour to know that the reason is much more complicated—impulsively spending money has become a coping mechanism for her.

Think about the number of times Carrie wandered over to a shoe store to try and cover up bruised feelings, forget about her problems, or deal with the sorrow of a breakup. Think of all the times we've seen this same behaviour repeated in popular culture with all kinds of vices, making it seem like a perfectly logical way to deal with hard things.

We've become accustomed to spending on things that bring us joy and fulfillment to justify overspending, so it can take time to recognize that you've created a pattern because it's such a mindless response to a challenge. But no matter which way you slice it, "comfort shoes" don't equal treating yourself to the odd "comfort food"—especially when they cost upwards of $400.

Impulse spending can be hard to control when you haven't gotten to the root of the problem (which is a topic for a whole other episode), and it's usually a move we tend to regret when it comes back to bite us in the ass (in Carrie's case when rent is due). Like many coping mechanisms, it's a temporary salve that is easy to beat ourselves up over. Unfortunately, the more we punish ourselves, the quicker we resort to destructive habits to quiet our inner critic.

But what if we allowed ourselves to acknowledge the problem, forgive, and move on to trying to respond differently? What if we just treated ourselves a bit nicer? For example, if we tell ourselves, "Don't do that!" or "You're doing that again," the easier it is to give in to our impulses and the harder it becomes to recover financially.

Luckily, I've got some tips on treating your compulsions with compassion.

9 Ways to Treat Your Compulsions With Compassion

I'm not making this sh*t up - a study published in Mindfulness found that practicing self-compassion can ultimately decrease impulse buying tendencies. Read on for some ways to accomplish just that. 

1. Analyze the Reason You're Impulse Spending - Take a moment to reflect on why you're feeling the urge to spend. Are you trying to cope with stress, boredom, or sadness? Understanding the root cause can help you address the underlying issue instead of treating the symptom.

2. Have Self-Compassion - Be kind to yourself and recognize that everyone makes mistakes. Forgive yourself and use it as an opportunity to learn and grow.

3. Create a Budget and Stick to It - Having a clear budget can help you make more mindful spending decisions. Allocate a certain amount for discretionary spending each month, and once it's gone, practice resisting the urge to spend more. LOUD budgeting can help.

4. Implement a Cooling-Off Period - When you feel the urge to make an impulsive purchase, give yourself a 24-hour cooling-off period (a.k.a sleep on it). Often, the desire to buy will fade, and you'll realize you didn't really need the item after all.

5. Find Healthy Alternatives - Instead of shopping, find other activities that bring you joy and help you cope with negative emotions. This could be exercising, reading, spending time with friends, or picking up a new hobby.

6. Keep a Spending Journal - Track your purchases and note how you were feeling at the time. This can help you identify patterns and triggers for your impulse spending, making it easier to address them in the future.

7. Set Financial Goals - Having clear financial goals can motivate you to curb impulse spending. Whether you're saving for a vacation, a new home, or retirement, keeping your goals in mind can help you stay on track.

8. Practice Values-Based Spending - If you listen to $HMONEY Radio, you know how often we discuss aligning your spending with your values and priorities. Consider what truly matters to you (ex. investing in quality over quantity), and you'll not only find more satisfaction in your purchases but be less tempted by impulsive buys that don't align with your long-term goals.

9. Seek Professional Help if Needed - If impulse spending severely affects your financial well-being, consider seeking help from a financial advisor or therapist. They can provide strategies and support to help you manage your spending habits.

Remember: Treating impulse spending with compassion starts with addressing the underlying issues, forgiving yourself for past mistakes, and taking proactive steps to improve your financial well-being.

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